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Cookies

 

I have taken a poll of all the girls here at our Chicago Escort Agency, and we all agree. Girl Scout Cookies are EVIL. First: they only come around once a year. Second: they are an American Institution. So you must purchase them to keep the free world afloat.  Third: if you do not purchase at least two boxes from every adult you know related to a scout you are doomed. Fourth: those little humans sit outside stores selling them, and they are so cute. (the scouts) All pigtails and adorableness that you feel if you do not buy at least two boxes you are doomed.  Fifth: they taste pretty good. I highly recommend freezing the Thin Mints before eating.

 

So all of our sweet and adorable escorts here in Chicago are bringing them into the office. So they do not end up on their hips. But instead on mine.  More evilness. But for the sake of our Chicago Escort clients, I will fall on the sword and take them. So our lovelies do not end up with them on their hips.

 

Also, I have been just told that Gordon Ramsey was on the Jimmy Kimmel show and was tasting his first Girl Scout Cookies. He said they looked like dog biscuits and spat them out. Jimmy Kimmel said that his Visa was being revoked for that. What a dick! Gordon Ramsey not Jimmy Kimmel. But then I think he makes his living being a dick.

Chicago Escort Girls Favorite Cookies

One last poll of our Chicago Escort Agency girls. Thin Mints are number one. And second is Savanah Smiles. Oh shit, I have not had any of those yet. Now I will have to find some of those mini people again and buy some. If only one box was enough. They will guilt me into 4. I just know it.

 

So I say one of our new politicos should draft a law. All stores must publish when the girls are selling the cookies so you can avoid shopping at that time. You bought them. You eat them. And maybe a limit on how many can be purchased at one time. I could be wrong.